Full transparency: I had no desire to see this movie. The live-action remakes/retellings of these stories seem uninspired and uninteresting. Their angles for today’s audiences, are watered down. Safe. Unnecessary. I’d venture to guess the only reason to make them is to stoke interest in Disney’s theme parks. Or toy tie-ins. Am I wrong…?
I know you’re asking yourselves, “Why the hell did you go, then?” Easy. The only reason I went was because I’m a “girl dad”. When my kid invites me to go see a movie, ANY movie really, I go. Normally, I dodge a bullet and The Mrs or my MIL take her, but this one struck me. So, we all went.
The whole time I’m sitting through Snow White, I’m trying to see how my daughter and wife are reacting (they were seated closer to me) and I couldn’t get a read on them. So, I sat there kind of stewing, watching it “myself”. As scenes happened, I thought to myself, “I’ve seen this before…” Sure, it’s a story retold several times over but I kept seeing other imagery. Like, were they stealing from other movies…? No…
Okay, my first observation is, what do they mean by “fairest” of them all? Is there some translation of the word lost through the years? Because, the actresses that play the queens…HELLO! If it’s referring to their looks. Aside from their crippling insecurities and willingness to do “whatever it takes” to eliminate the competition, I don’t think they have anything to worry about. Especially with this young Snow White (Rachel Zegler). Fair to me is the truest definition of the word; To be impartial and just. Without favoritism or discrimination. Then, in that case, that magic mirror LIED.
There are several moments throughout the movie where I felt like the Leo meme.
As soon as Jonathan (Andrew Burnap) stepped onscreen, I kept getting Flynn Ryder vibes from Tangled (not the last comparison, here, either). I couldn’t shake it. They even dressed him in similar attire.
And instead of Jonathan being a dashing prince, he’s a dastardly scoundrel. One who steals from the…rich…and redistributes to the…less fortunate…? Wait a sec! That sounds like someone else we know! Well, it’s not like he runs around with a group of…merry men…Hold up!
They even had a scene reminiscent of Tangled where Flynn and Rapunzel are in a boat at the lighting ceremony with the lanterns overhead.
Are you seeing what I’m seeing? I know I’m not alone in my views with this movie. I have the internet. I’ve heard the Rotten Tomatoes scores. The IMDb rating. I think I’m a bit kinder than THOSE assessments. Yikes! People need a hug.
Snow White 2025 is a hollow movie. At face value and promotion, there was an attempt at making a movie. Ultimately, it’s an empty shell. There was no need to reshape this story. Even in the slightest of ways. There was no attachment to any of the characters. Even the dwarfs, who had distinct personality traits, were muddled in their new, CGI’d appearances. With a still image, I bet you couldn’t tell me who was who.
As the credits rolled and the lights came on in our theater, my daughter turned to me and asked, “What did you think?” I can’t lie to my little girl. Such hope in her eyes. The Mrs chimed in saying, “I liked it better than I thought I would.” I thought, “Judas!” We came in on the same page not wanting to see this movie and she pulls THIS?! My daughter asked me again and like Shakira’s hips, my face doesn’t lie. I told her, with a shrug, “It wasn’t for me.” Boy, that was a quiet ride home…
Arguing With Myself 